Curious About Sex Toys? A Friendly Guide for First-Timers
First, let’s cut the taboo BS. Sexual health is a very real and important part of overall health. Sex toys help people to not only feel pleasure but to become empowered in their bodies. But toys aren’t just for “fun,” they can support pelvic health, intimacy, and healing. So why is there so much shame around this topic which is a multi billion-dollar industry with potential health benefits? While I many not have all of the the answers to that question, I will tell you that this is a safe space to explore the concept of using sex toys - Especially if you’re a newbie!
Reasons For Using Sex Toys
As I’ve already mentioned, there are multiple benefits to using sex toys.
Increase self-awareness and connection to your body
Enhance pleasure during solo or partnered intimacy
Can support pelvic floor relaxation or muscle awareness
Can reduce pelvic pain (especially for those who can not tolerate/don’t want penetration)
Helpful for postpartum or menopausal changes (vaginal dryness, decreased libido, etc.)
Types of Toys & How They Work
External Toys: vibrators (bullet, wand, suction); for clitoral or external stimulation to the perineum, anus, or penis.
Internal Toys: dildos, vibrators for G-spot or vaginal stimulation.
Anal Toys: plugs, beads, prostate massagers
Couples Toys: wearable vibrators or dildos, remote-controlled toys, vibrating rings
Pelvic Health Tools: dilators, wands (vibrating or manual) for tension, pain relief, or rehab
Choosing the Right Toy For You
Start with what you’re curious about:
Stimulation style - Look at what type of stimulation the toy delivers. For example, some toys vibrate, while others have a sucking motion, flick, thrust, or tickle. There’s no right or wrong here and many people explore different types until they find what works best for them (or best at that moment).
Solo or partnered - While many toys can be used either solo or partnered, others are more specifically designed for two people to use simultaneously.
Internal or external - There are so many options today for toys that don’t require internal use. This can be particularly important for those dealing with pelvic pain conditions or those going through menopause and struggle with vaginal dryness.
Next, consider material: Many toys these days are made from silicone, but be sure they are body-safe silicone. As a general rule of thumb, if you open the box and the toy has a noticeable chemical smell to it, it may not be of the highest quality material to use. Some toys are made of metal, plastic, or glass. These materials can often seem intimidating to newer toy users, due to the material’s rigidity, while others enjoy them. If you plan to use your toy in the tub or shower, look for a waterproof material. Consider if you prefer something rechargeable vs battery powered as well.
Think about intensity, size, and shape—less is more for beginners
Buy from reputable sources: Here are two companies I commonly refer to
Early 2 Bed - Enjoy 10% off when you use my affiliate link at checkout, Victoria10
* If you’re local to South Florida/Palm Beach County, check out our friends at Sexxy Toys (conveniently located across the street from our clinic)
Tips for Using Sex Toys Safely & Confidently
Always clean toys before and after use
Use water-based lubricant to enhance comfort and reduce friction. Never use silicone lube with a silicone toy, as it will break down the material of the toy over time.
Go slow, listen to your body, and adjust as needed. Pain is never ok.
The goal is not necessarily penetration or orgasm - people can have discomfort with both of these
It’s okay to laugh, experiment, and not get it “perfect”
For couples: communication is key—make it collaborative, not intimidating
Therapeutic “Toys” for Pelvic Floor Therapy
In Pelvic Floor Therapy, we often will recommend or assist people in using dilators, wands, or vibrating massagers for various symptoms. We don’t usually refer to them as toys, but rather as therapeutic tools. The plus side is that these tools can absolutely be used as toys as well. Here’s how they can help as a therapeutic tool:
Vibration encourages blood flow to the pelvic region, which supplies oxygen to pelvic tissues (ie. muscles, nerves, skin, etc). This creates healthier and happier/less painful tissue.
Dilators and wands are tools that work to either desensitize the nervous system, desensitize the pelvic floor muscles, improve elasticity of the tissues, and/or eliminate trigger points.
Final Thoughts: Pleasure Is Personal
There’s no one “right” way to explore sexual wellness and there are many different options available to you.
First and foremost, sex toys should prioritize your comfort and consent.
Everyone deserves pleasure that feels good, safe, and empowering - whether you’re goal is to improve your pelvic health or just have fun!
If you feel curious about this topic but are still unsure of how to get started, reach out to a pelvic floor therapist who works with sexual function. If you’re local to the Delray Beach area and are curious about Pelvic Floor Therapy or sexual wellness, our Doctor of Physical Therapy also has a certification in Sex Counseling and can help you on your personal journey.
I hope this information was helpful and maybe caused you to look at symptoms you have been ignoring. If you need help finding a pelvic floor therapist in Florida, we hope that you will consider us for either in-person or virtual appointments.
In the meantime, you can get more pelvic health content sent right to you, by completing the short form below👇
